Barbara Walters chats with Forward Syria
Swaying between art and seduction
Discussing monetary policy with the man in charge
Where the earth screams in horror
02/14/2011 - Issue 48
Love is in the air
by Jennifer Mackenzie
Especially for young couples, Valentine’s Day - “the Feast of Love” in Arabic - is a new and exciting holiday, and in Damascus, many are adopting it wholeheartedly.
“It’s a chance to show your love to your partner, or to let someone know that you have these feelings,” said one English literature student who is hoping to get her first rose this February.
For more established couples, Valentine’s Day is also an opportunity to treat each other to something special and to create some vivid memories. “My best Valentine’s Day was last year,” recalled one thirty-something musician. “I surprised her [my fiancé] with her favorite chocolates and roses, and took her to an amazing Italian restaurant. It was something that both of us can look back on, like an anniversary.”
Maryam, a university student, still glows when she remembers the feast her boyfriend treated her to last February. She, like many other couples interviewed for this article, declined to be photographed, saying that it would spoil the privacy and the intimacy of the occasion. “Some people like to show off the number of gifts they get, but for me, it’s not a public event.”
She also voiced skepticism about some people’s use of the holiday not to declare true love but to play the field more. To illustrate this, she told the following joke: a man walks into a card shop and asks to see what cards they have for Valentine’s Day. The shopkeeper shows him one that reads, ‘To My Only Love.’ “That’s perfect,” replies the customer. “Give me twelve of those.”
Increasing expectations
Another student also voiced concern that the increased visibility of the holiday creates an expectation that makes those who are not dating anyone feel left out. “If you don’t have a lover you’re sad - and if you do, you’re even sadder, because you’re poor, and can’t afford to give them anything,” she joked. “For me, a piece of chocolate is worth more than a million guys. And why do you need a specific date to tell somebody you love them? I still don’t get it.”
Indeed, the most common objection to the holiday is that it is now less about love than about profit. “Everything turns red, and the price of a red rose goes up five times!” said Suheila, a single woman in her early thirties. “It’s really a holiday for students, and the most beautiful, simple way for them to show their love is by giving a rose - but the prices go up so much, they can’t afford it!”
And a shopkeeper in Bab Touma, one of the main commercial centers of the celebration, put it more plainly. “It’s an event they created to sell us things. It has nothing to do with this culture - and even events from here are getting so commercialized, I’m starting to hate all occasions.”
Of course, the flower and chocolate sellers are excited about the holiday. The florists are unapologetic about the inevitable tripling or quadrupling of prices. “It’s the demands of the holiday,” one florist explained, adding, “love makes people generous.” His neighbor, a baker, lovingly described the scrumptious Valentine’s cakes he is planning to create in the shape of hearts, frosted in pink and red.
But, personally, he too was skeptical about the change in values he feels the holiday represents. “It used to be that people had real love for each other and their families,” he said. “But now people are disconnected from their parents and siblings, and they just think that love means sex.” Then again, he reflected, “Valentine’s Day is really a day for young people; it’s a day for them.”
The secret's out
Perhaps some of the ambivalence about the growing popularity of Valentine’s Day in Syria is a natural reaction to a society in transition. As the culture and economy open up, quite a few Syrians feel nostalgic for “the good old days.”
“Ten years ago, no one here had ever heard of Valentine’s Day,” recalled one bachelor. “So I felt like it was my secret, to share only with that one special person. Now everybody knows about it, and I don’t feel like it’s mine anymore.”
Still, for those who value both their privacy and the celebration of their love, there are always creative ways to combine the two. For instance, one young couple, objecting to the public “hype” of the holiday, created their own tradition: they give each other gifts and have a romantic Valentine’s Day evening…a day after Valentine’s Day.
“It started last year as a trick my boyfriend played on me,” the woman explained. “He pretended that he forgot about it, that he hated the whole thing and didn’t believe in it. Then, the next day, he showed up with all these presents - flowers and sweets - and he said the best part was how surprised I was,” she recalled, laughing. “Now it’s like our private joke.” In the end, then, there are as many “feasts of love” as there are couples to enjoy them.
Five ways to treat your sweetheart
1. Say it with flowers: whether it’s the classic, long-stemmed rose, or an eclectic bouquet. Just remember, red is for x and pink is for y, but avoid yellow - it means jealousy and z.
2. A picture’s worth a thousand words: a beautiful photo album or scrapbook is the perfect way to remember the sweet moments you’ve shared together.
3. Spa treatment: pamper the one you love with a relaxing and rejuvenating trip to a spa.
4. Diamonds and pearls: grand or delicate, a beautiful necklace, bracelet or pair of earrings or cufflinks make the ideal gift.
5. If music is the food of love: let music carry you both away with a visit to the Opera Theater’s upcoming orchestral performances of latin music or classical Italian opera.
